humour

A burglar with OCD?

What is OCD, someone might ask?

I say, ask my wife, the epitome of OCD. Well, OCD is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Google defines it as, excessive thoughts that lead to repetitive behaviour.

Why is my wife, the epitome of OCD? Well, once the maid has cleaned the house and left, my wife finds dust and unclean corners in the house. And she gets down to the job of cleaning it further. But friends say that it is my OCD to exaggerate my wife’s behaviours.

Today’s story is on a different subject.

Paul and Samantha planned to go on an extended holiday. But worried about the general maintenance of their formidable property during their absence, they decided to employ the services of a house sitter. They didn’t advertise it in the papers but used their friend circle to find a trusted house sitter. And they found one, in the young and effervescent Jennie.

One day prior to their departure, Jennie came to stay with them. Samantha was happy that her precious plants would stay hale-n-hearty under Jennie’s care. Paul was happy that his piano would remain in spic-n-span condition, so too, his billiards table and the golf kit.

Jennie was over the moon. After all, she would be living her dream; dream of living in an exclusive and luxurious property and getting paid for it.

The next morning was the time for enthusiastic goodbyes from both parties.

Once the owners had left, the huge house was for Jennie to enjoy. She brewed up a cup of piping hot coffee and found her cosy corner in the Emperor sized chair kept in front of the theatre sized TV, which she put on and binged watched GoT.

After this marathon TV watching session, her tired eyes demanded shut eye. She headed to one of the bedrooms and made herself comfortable on a king sized double bed,.

Hardly had a few minutes passed, she was woken up by shuffling noises. She was wide awake now, her heart thudding inside her heaving chest. The noise stopped. As her breath normalised, she drifted back into sleep.

There it was again. She panicked. The noises seemed to come from the bathroom at one end of the bedroom.

She tiptoed towards the bathroom, half expecting someone to barge out. Seeing the latch on the bathroom door, she heaved a sigh of relief. She rushed the last few steps towards the door and with shivering hands, locked it securely.

With equal fervour, she retraced her steps towards the house phone and called 9-1-1.

“I am alone in the house, but I hear noises from the bathroom. Am a house sitter, the owners have left just today morning and I was alone when they left. Please help!”.

The 911 services coordinated her location in the background with basic information from Jennie and in a few minutes, the police were at the door.

A relieved Jennie guided them towards the bathroom.

“There! Can you hear that?”.

Yes, the police certainly heard something.

“Come out with your arms raised. Don’t try anything funny!”, the Sergeant barked out the orders. Their ominous message was met by frantic shuffling inside. But no one emerged. The latch was opened noiselessly as the police prepared to barge in.

Hearing no response from inside, the posse of policemen drew their weapons. One of them kicked open the door, which flew in and crashed on the wall. Two policemen, led by their service revolvers, entered inside.

They were greeted by…thin air! But there was a sudden movement in a corner, a shuffling noise, this time stronger but the suspense was lifted.

It was the auto vacuum cleaner!

The alleged ‘burglar’, the vacuum cleaner, was just doing its cleaning job at the pre-programmed hour. A burglar with OCD?

The police as well as an embarrassed Jennie, had a good laugh over this ‘much ado about nothing’ scenario. Jennie talked to the owners and put the machine to sleep.

Yatindra Tawde

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