humour

Aliens Indeed

 

The cute fellows waddle across the snow in their funny walk. They are Romeo and Juliet. If one didn’t know better, you would mistake them for lawyers in their black coats. Well not really. The lawyers don’t look cute from any angle. Is that a politically incorrect statement? I don’t know.

T०he two of them serenade each other, Juliet smiling coyly at Romeo. Suddenly Adam remembers, or rather his overworked intestines remember that he has had a bit too much to eat and he feels the sudden urge. Giving a constipated smile to Eve, Adam excuses himself, finds his lonely spot and relieves himself. He is done and dusted but here’s where the dominant species called a Human makes his appearance. 

He takes a sample of the droppings and Lo and Behold. He has found traces of a chemical which has extra-terrestrial origins. A chemical known as Phosphine.

And where is Phosphine mainly found? It is found on the planet Venus. Or more correctly, it is found in the layers of gas surrounding the planet Venus.

Now, the Humans speculate that, since the droppings are of Penguins, the Romeo and Juliet of our story, the Penguins must be aliens.

So friends, it was a myth that Women are from Venus. It was the Penguins all along.

 

Yatindra Tawde

Image courtesy- unsplash.com and Paul Carroll

humour, Uncategorized

Are Women from Venus

Women are from Venus

Just read the newspaper article that men hear from one side of the brain whereas in women, both sides of the brain are involved. This gives them the enviable power to read between the lines, hear things which might have been left unsaid since both sides of the brain enrich their creativity. Ah!! That explains the following innocent conversation between me and my wife.

I am engrossed with the scourge of modern life, which is the smartphone, when the wife initiates the most important conversation, that is, for her.

The first question is asked, “Have I grown fatter?” If that is not a googly, I don’t know what is. Gearing up for a long drawn out session, I keep my phone aside. That’s half the battle won, or so I think. Now she is one of the slimmest ladies but this question she must ask. I stay silent.
“Answer me, have I grown fatter”.
“No, not at all”
“I know you are saying this only to make me feel happy”
“No, no. I am serious. You really have not put on much weight”. Alas! The wrong words have escaped my loud mouth. I bite my tongue.
“Much weight! That means I have put on some weight no. I know you always tell lies only to make me feel better. But sometimes truth escapes your mouth, like it did just now”
“Noo! I did not mean it like that. I mean, look at so and so, you are nowhere near her. How can you say you are fat? You are not at all fat. You are not even plump. You are still the same like you were when we married.” Wicket gone!
“Men are like this only. Always comparing wives with other ladies. Your eyes are always roving. I hate you. I see it in your eyes that you consider me fat.”
I don’t like where this conversation is going. I think I should keep quiet now. So I smile feebly, trying to reassure her, trying to keep my arm around her shoulder. But it is shrugged off.
“Now why are you silent now?”. The question is asked. And answer too is given immediately. “I know why you are silent. You are silent because what I said was right. Was I not?”
“But you are only talking. You are not letting me speak at all”
“Yes, yes. I am only wrong. I am a dictator know. Don’t speak to me”. And she marches off, to fight another day.
But today I came to know the reasons for this, the two sides or two hemispheres of the lady’s brain. It would have been great face-off but for only one hemisphere of my puny brain.
Folks, what I have just written is all from one side of my brain, the involved with a little creativity, or you will go and complain to my wife!

Yatindra Tawde