humour, Uncategorized

Egg-o-Cop

It was rolling across the green fields in the fresh morning air as the morning joggers were trying to kick-start their digestive juices. It was the newest gizmo in town and almost everyone in the park did a double take, blessed as it was with a unique shape, attractive colours and an undulating gait.

Yes, it was the Egg-o-Cop, an egg shaped robot cop, recently deployed by the US Police and given comparatively undemanding duty. And why not? It wasn’t anything like it’s famous namesake protagonist in the movie, ‘RoboCop’, which did excellent business in India.

Why Egg-o-Cop? It was, thanks to its cute egg like shape, that it got christened so.

And what was it doing in a park, you might ask. Well, the US Police gave it the all important task of generally keeping watch on the activities in the park. Not nosing around or poking it’s non-existent nose in people’s affairs but to act as the eyes and ears of the real Cops sitting many miles away in their headquarters, watching screens from across the city.

The Egg-o-Cop is equipped with a 360 degree vision which allows it to give live-feed back to the Department. And… and nothing else! Yes, it serves no other purpose than to be a remote traveling camera for the Cops… atleast not in three immediate future.

It is meant for patrolling and greeting people with a “Good day to you”.

Yatindra Tawde

Sports

Virat…

Virat Kohli…he is a cricket robot made by a super secret society of cricketer scientists which explains his robotic consistency in run making.

A chip is installed in his brain which enhances his reflexes against the best of bowlers and enables him to out think them.

A combination of booster joints in his arms, shoulders, wrists, hips and legs enables him split second reactions and deposits the ball out of the boundary.

And a set of spring loaded thighs propel him to run very fast to convert ones into twos and further.

He has been given specially developed cameras behind his eyes, based on pioneering work done on study of eagle eyes, to find gaps where non exists for mere mortals.

And to hide this ultra mean and efficient machine from prying eyes of the general public and inquisitive sports reporters, they installed a motor mouth which spouts well meaning expletives whenever a milestone is reached.

And let me add, they also installed a bender in his back which gets activated whenever the God of cricket, Shri Sachin comes into the camera range of his eyes…

Yatindra Tawde