Tag: humour

Book review – Memories – A Novella

On By itsmylife126In book reviewLeave a comment

 

Book Title – Memories – a Novella The hilarious nightmare of growing up.

Author – Soumya Mukherjee Publisher – Notion Press

No. Of pages – 142

Oh Boy!

What an amazing journey from childhood, through many adventures of youth and culminating with the realizations of old age narrated with dollops of humour.

Once you pick up the book, it’s very difficult to put it down, for, not only is it entertaining but also takes you on a nostalgic journey to your own childhood and youth. And if the reader has stayed in a hostel, he/she will find many parallels with their own life in college.

The author, Soumya Mukherjee has the God given gift of effortless humour which he uses to weave an unforgettable story.

And why did I start the review with ‘Oh Boy!’?

Well, read this Novella to find out.

Yatindra Tawde

The Master Piledriver

On By itsmylife126In Fiction, humourLeave a comment

First posted at ArtoonsInn. The writing prompt had five distinct words which had to be incorporated into a story which I attempted…

Abhay  cautioned his friend, “Shhh, Rakesh…here comes The Master. Stand up, bow and then kneel. Remember, you have to stay on your knees for the entire session.”

“I know, I know. You don’t have to remind me. Kneeling on my knees for so long would be torturous. But I now ready to do anything for curing my piles. I am just too wabbit. I can most certainly exchange a few hours of pain in my knees with the pain in my…”, Rakesh whispered.

“Shhh…no bad words please. The Master is capable of curing all ailments of his true disciples. One can feel the Aura as soon as he makes an entry into the room. Don’t you feel it?”, Abhay said.

“Yes, yes. Whatever you say. But what is the quid pro quo?”, asked Rakesh.

“Now what is that, Rakesh. You do have a penchant for talking in riddles. Always flaunting your elite upbringing  aren’t you?”, Abhay asked sarcastically.

“OK, let me put it bluntly for you my friend. What is The Master expecting in return for curing me? He must want or seek something,  isn’t it? I am surprised he doesn’t take any donations from his disciples”, Rakesh wondered loudly.

“The Master is the most enlightened being in this entire Firmament. This is his lila. This world is his stage and we are the players. Be patient.”, Abhay admonished his friend.

“Means? Like a drama? What are we supposed to do? I can’t act, damn it. Let’s get out of here, Abhay. Enough of spirituality for me. I will again meet the Doctor. A different one perhaps but not this, please”, uttered a panicky Rakesh.

“I said, be patient. Your impatience is now getting on my nerves. You will not be required to act in a drama. No one knows what The Master will come up with. Let’s wait and watch”, Abhay comforted his friend.

“Now what are these people bringing? What are those shiny things? Oh my God. Swords! Is it allowed?”, asked a perspiring Rakesh.

“Umm…seems to be so. Oh no, I think these are machetes”, Abhay enlightened.

“Whatever man. They look too sharp. What will The Master make us do now? Are we supposed to duel with each other? Don’t swing too hard at me Abhay, someone might get hurt”, a visibly concerned Rakesh blurted.

“You and your imagination. I would never have brought you here but you were insistent. Now please keep your nerves and sit tight”, Abhay admonished his friend.

“I am sitting tight since long. Oh, it’s pains so much, I have to sit tight. And why are these attendants keeping the machetes with the edge up, on the floor? What are they going to do now? And why doesn’t The Master speak? Is he on Maun Vrat?”, Rakesh rattled on.

“Shh…look, The Master has opened his eyes. That means he is ready to speak. Please concentrate now. Look at that miracle, his attendants are walking on the matchete edge. Wow!”, a truly Mesmerized Abhay spoke to himself.

“Look, The Master is watching everyone. Be prepared, he will ask anyone randomly. You might be the lucky one”, Abhay continued.

“Yes, vatsa. What ails you? Whatever it is, please share your troubles with me. Trust me. And you won’t be disappointed”, so spake The Master finally.

“Pssst…Rakesh, it’s you he is asking.  Oh, you are so blessed.”

“Master, I suffer from piles. And it pains; I am not able to sit for long.” Rakesh was blunt and to the point.

“Come my friend. Come near me. While coming, please do walk on this pathway. Just like you saw my attendants do. Assure you that you will forget your piles suffering in a jiffy”, said The Master with a beatific smile.

“Whaat? What do you want me to do? This is impossible. Abhay! You be happy with this nonsense. I am not going to walk on blades to cure my piles. I am going…”, thundered a flabbergasted Rakesh.

“But…but, Rakesh. Please wait.  Don’t insult The Master thus. Wait…I said wait”, cried Abhay.

 

Vellagiri on FB – A book review

On By itsmylife126In book review, humour1 Comment

Book title – Vellagiri on FB

Author – Krishnan Seshan Iyer
Publisher – StoryMirror Infotech Pvt. LTD.
No. Of pages – 150

‘Expect the unexpected’ when you pick up this book because it is unlike any other. There are no short stories, it is not a novel nor is it a serious commentary. Instead it’s ‘Vellagiri’.

Now what is ‘Vellagiri’ someone may ask. It is a totally Mumbai lingo which the author has used so innovatively in his book title. ‘Vella’ comes from ‘Velle’ which is used for people wasting time, doing nothing. So, ‘Vellagiri’ is a tongue in cheek reference to the author sharing his treasure trove of quotable quotes on FB to the benefit of his immense friend circle. And now we, the mango people, can equally enjoy the fun.

Now, why do I say it is a treasure trove of quotable quotes? Well, for that, open this book and start reading.

Whoever said only famous personalities are capable of quotable quotes have not met the author, Krishnan Seshan Iyer. His quotes arise from his intrinsic scathing sense of humour and a sharp mind honed over the years in the Corporate law field. He is blessed with an ability to critique and capable of giving ‘Jor ka jhatka, dheere se…’ and sometimes not so ‘dheere se’ at all. You may not necessarily agree with him, but please do enjoy the sarcastic humour while you are at it.

And for those who cannot do without FB, here’s a quotable quote from the book, ‘I just realized that MZ is my wife – keeps reminding me of things I said a few years back!’

So guys and gals, go for this book. Let me assure you, you won’t be disappointed.

Yatindra Tawde

The Mask

On By itsmylife126In humour3 Comments

Why the hullabaloo over a mask, someone may ask. Well, since it has become such an intrinsic part of our lives there’s no option.

Thus, mask manufacturing is an industry in itself. Like every product manufacturing industry it is very important to know the user or consumer profile to design masks.

I also tried to study the user profile and here are my findings –

The warrior – he/she is totally committed to avoid spreading the virus and protecting himself from the virus. He is a warrior because he fights against the virus by following the proper precautions. He is also a warrior because he will not think twice before disciplining others who fall short in following the precautions. He will shout or argue against such irresponsible people whose masks have slipped a bit. He will point to the lowered mask with his finger and with the slightest of upward movement, ask them to place it properly on there nose.

Flaring nostrils – he tries to follow the precautions but his mask keeps slipping from his nose while just managing to maintain its position on his mouth. He has not yet got used to having his nose covered due to suffocation.

Chin music – he is in majority and many times his mask gets mistaken for facial fuzz (I am talking only about ‘he’ here). He is committed to protecting his chin from the viruses which might find a way into his body through the skin pores. His nose and mouth are relatively virus resistant, or that’s the impression he creates.

Neckers – as you must have deduced by this time, the consumers are getting labelled as per the lowering position of the mask. Thus he/she flaunts the mask on the neck while pulling forward their ears. So they appear like ear-pulled rabbits. These are the next in majority.

Hookers – don’t misunderstand, these are the people whose masks hang precariously from one of their ears which act like hooks. These hookers increase the blood pressure of the warriors precariously.

Nudists – these will flaunt their nostrils and lips in full public view most shamelessly without a care in the world.

Jokers – they will wear the most outrageous masks, sometimes shaped like animal heads and sometimes painted with cartoon lips bringing a smile to spectator lips which are themselves hidden behind masks.

Fashionistas – these are mostly the better half kind though not necessarily. The masks always match their clothes and such masks are most innovatively designed ranging from saree type masks in Paithani, Kanjeevaram, et all to diamond encrusted masks for the elites. To cater to such connoisseurs of masks, entire showrooms have come up in almost all towns.

So Guys and Gals, which consumer profile do you belong to?

Yatindra Tawde

Superpowered life

On By itsmylife126In humourLeave a comment

First written on @#ArtoonsInn…

I woke up one day and was zapped that my left eye was fluttering. Mind you, it was just the left eye and the right one was blinking like usual. Suddenly I remembered my guru.

My guru, Shri Baburao, snorted hard through his one nostril while jamming shut the other one, his snot flying through the air towards me. Me, being his ardent devotee, had ungrudgingly accepted the divine gift and let it fall on my palms and eagerly waited for his blessings. He had blessed me with his divine vision and declared that the day I wake up with my left eye fluttering, I would have a superpower whose nature I would discover during the course of time.

So here I was, with my fluttering left eye, trying to understand my superpower. But first, as advised by Shri Baburao, I rushed to the cupboard to dress myself in red track pants and brown baniyan for that was to be my attire from now on. And though apprehensive, I followed his next advice to a Tee. I fished out my blue underwear and wore it over the track pants and observed myself from all angles in the mirror. To my horror, I found that the underwear was torn on the backside. Though this mishap was invisible to others with my normal clothing in public, I was dead sure that it would not be socially acceptable with my current attire. With a heavy heart, I made the unfortunate decision to replace the blue one with a yellow one, thus deviating from my Guru’s strict decree.

Now I was ready to face the world. But before that, I wanted to check the effect of my superpower on my cat, Priyamvada, who was sleeping in the hall.

I stepped into the hall. Priyamvada was having his bath cum yoga, but as soon as he saw me, he froze, with his bristled tongue hanging out. In the next moment, he bounced with his hair standing on end, and as soon as he landed back on the floor, he gave out a blood curdling combination of screeches and yowls and flew out of the window. I had been told that animals detect things which are beyond the understanding of mere mortals and Priyamvada’s robust reaction assured me about my superpower. So I decided to step out and opened my apartment door.

Old Mrs. Municipaltiwala coincidently had the same idea and we opened the respective doors simultaneously.

“Dikra, what happened to Priyam…”, but before she could continue, her eyes took in my divine, cosmic sight. Overcome with ecstasy, she swooned to the floor.

That gave me much confidence to face the world and I entered the lift. I did reflect on directly jumping out of the window due to my superpower but hesitated. Though Priyamvada and Mrs. Municipaltiwala had given the right vibes, I thought of taking careful steps into my superpowered life.

Afterall, I am quite a sorted person.

Yatindra Tawde

The Recliner

On By itsmylife126In humour, Travel2 Comments

Those who fly frequently will agree that the amount of space on offer is much less than in an ST Bus. That is, on most domestic flights.

Yes, the ST buses vibrate and they do travel on sturdy roads and they do make a lot of cacophony. But if you feel like stretching your legs, you can do so in the space available below the seat in front, if it is not occupied by assorted luggage of fellow travellers. And small mercies, the seats of a ST bus don’t recline.

Which is not the case in a domestic flight. Recently a video is doing the rounds of the social media in which a woman tries to recline her seat repeatedly while the man sitting behind her, bangs and pushes her seat as he doesn’t want to be inconvenienced. This video is from one of the western countries but a similar story repeats in our country skies too.

The usual story on a domestic flight goes something like this…

After what seems like an eternity of waiting in the departure area, finally the announcement everyone has been waiting for, is made. Unfortunately the departure gate has changed at the nth hour and everyone has to hurry across to the new one.

The flight duration itself is only 55 minutes but I have already spent more than 2 hours at the airport terminal. I am not even counting the 2 hours I spent in a taxi while reaching the airport.

A further few minutes are spent waiting in a queue to get the ticket scanned then I am on my way. As I reach the boarding bus, it gets full and speeds away. Fortunately another bus is just behind and I get onto it.

Like most other travellers, I don’t rush to the seats but stand near the bus door. As others have the same idea, soon the door gets blocked and someone from the airlines has to show the space available inside to the people who are already inside, by wild gesticulations of his hands and vocal cords. A few passengers (not me) finally get the message and reluctantly occupy the vacant seats thus allowing others to board the bus.

Some old ladies give me obnoxious looks, as if they have seen a particularly ugly specimen. Not to be outdone, I return an obnoxious look of my own. Then the airport tarmac darshan commences, with the bus meandering across the tarmac in search of the aircraft.

In a few minutes I am out on the Tarmac, as soon as the bus comes to a halt and the doors slide open. Happy to be the first in line, I rush with my laptop bag towards the front of the aircraft but the checker takes one look at my ticket and directs me towards the rear. Muttering expletives under my breath, I run across but find myself in yet another queue.

Finally I am inside but the stewardess ignores me but has a bright smile for the old gentleman following me and even wishes him! I glance at him over my shoulder; he seems extra jolly. I scowl at him and move on.

It takes an eternity to reach my row, mainly due to various passengers trying to fit their assorted luggage In the bins above.

As always my luck, or the lack of it, takes me to a middle seat. I think this is the worst seat to get via reservation, unless someone interesting occupies the neighbouring seats. However Murphy plays his part and I sit between two especially healthy specimen.

Due to the ample leg space, the person occupying the aisle seat has to get up and stand in the aisle while I try to find room for my laptop in the bin above. I push and shove the other luggage but can’t seem to fit my humble laptop bag there. Finally I dump it below the seat ahead and plonk myself in the middle seat. As I try to make myself comfortable, I find that there is no armrest for me as the two gentlemen own that space.

As I sit waiting for the aircraft to take off, the aircraft sits on the tarmac waiting for the green signal from the air traffic control. Finally it does…

The congested leg space is made more constricted by my neighbours but I decide to make myself comfortable by reclining my seat once the aircraft completes its ascent. Pressing the knob, I jerk back my seat.

“Bloody fool!”, I hear someone cursing from behind me. Ignore, man…ignore…and I pretend to sleep.

The curses go on for some more time and then fall silent. They always do. I slip into deep sleep.

Suddenly I feel huge pressure on my knees and wake up with a start. I find that the man in front of me has reclined his seat. A few expletives escape my mouth and spread themselves like mist in the air. But the totally shameless man in front of me is unaffected. He just covers his eyes and starts snoring…I let off steam for sometime and then I resign myself to my fate.

Friends! Isn’t this story quite familiar?

Though some of the passengers are obnoxious, this spatial challenge inside an aircraft is mainly profit driven. Previously the space between two consecutive rows was 34-35 inches which has now been reduced to 30-31 inches and in some cases, to a flimsy 28 inches.

The recliner angle, which had been designed considering the previous distance between the rows, hasn’t changed after the distance was reduced.

The precise reason for the decreasing space inside a huge aircraft. The precise reason why you, me and them fight.

Yatindra Tawde

An app for diaper swap

On By itsmylife126In humour6 Comments

Nachiket and Nikita are new parents. They had their son hardly one month back. Their house is a pleasant mess, which is normal in any house where a child has been born recently.

Nikita is on maternity leave whereas Nachiket too spends maximum time at home, whenever his job and his boss permits. Nikita’s mother too stays with them, looking after the little bundle of joy. Though all of them enjoy being with the new addition to the family, they seem to have no clues when faced with the crying episodes of the child.

A totally peaceful afternoon suddenly turns into a chaotic situation once the child starts throwing tantrums. Thinking the child is hungry, Nikita tries to feed it, but the decibel level increases. Taking pity on her, her mother takes the child in her custody and started singing a lullaby. As the grandmother touches the high notes in her song, so does the child. Exasperated the mother and grandmother look at each other clueless. Suddenly the grandmother espies that the diaper is cold. She places the child on the sofa and takes off the child’s diaper.

Lo and behold!

As soon as this is done, the child is quiet. So this was the problem. The solution was so simple but since the problem was not easily identifiable, the family had to put up with the cacophony.

It is night time, everyone is fast asleep. Suddenly a shriek goes up in the air and all are wide awake. But now Nikita is experienced. She goes and picks up the child and tries to change its diaper… But no, this time the diaper is dry. So she packs up the child again and tries to breastfeed the child. This is what the child wanted and in no time, it is peacefully contented and off to sleep it goes. The night is quiet again!

Nachiket, the software engineer is intrigued. And he decides to do something about this. After all, as a software engineer, he knows that every problem has a solution. So the next time the child cries, Nachiket goes very near the child and puts his ears to the baby’s mouth. He tries to decipher whether there is any difference between each cry, whether it is for food, or for a sound sleep. But he deciphers none. All cries are the same….wahhhhh….

The next day in office, he mentions his dilemma during the lunch hour, to his office mate, Riddhima. And lo! Riddhima has a ready made solution. After all she is his senior and she to has faced this in her life before. And Nachiket does as instructed by Riddhima…

Next day he stays at home eagerly waiting for the child to cry. And then the moment arrives…a cry goes out, disturbing the noon peace. And before the mother and grandmother react, Nachiket is near the child…

He whips out his smartphone from his pocket, starts an app and keeps it on record mode, near the baby’s mouth. Mother and grandmother are watching this, worried about the mental imbalance shown by Nachiket.

But Nachiket himself is very enthusiastic about the task at hand, he keeps his smartphone near the baby’s mouth for about 10 seconds, then his fingers do the tango on the phone . He gives a triumphant cry and shows the screen to the 2 ladies…

Screen shows “HUNGRY” in bold letters. The ladies are apprehensive, but then the mother starts feeding the child… And the house is peaceful again.

The app is passed on to the mother who is the happiest. She feels as if, suddenly there is a translator for translating all her baby’s cries into human speech. Next time the baby throws a tantrum, the app shows that the baby needs a diaper swap. These are the happiest days for the mother and the entire family. The grandmother is the most impressed since she had always felt that technology has gone too far …but now she too is impressed.

Friends, you may feel this is far fetched but this technology is upon us and the app is 90-95% accurate in giving its solutions. The new parents in the West are the most happy, since this app is not yet introduced in India. But by the time you read this, it might be available. But just to try out the new app, don’t try to be a new parent, especially my friends who are now in their late 40’s…

P.S. – this app is said to work only for babies upto 8-10 months old, since the innocent babies cry with honesty, only till that age… After that they get smarter for the smartphone app. And mothers, don’t try to use it for your grown up babies… Your respective husbands 😊

Yatindra Tawde

A burglar with OCD?

On By itsmylife126In humour2 Comments

What is OCD, someone might ask?

I say, ask my wife, the epitome of OCD. Well, OCD is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Google defines it as, excessive thoughts that lead to repetitive behaviour.

Why is my wife, the epitome of OCD? Well, once the maid has cleaned the house and left, my wife finds dust and unclean corners in the house. And she gets down to the job of cleaning it further. But friends say that it is my OCD to exaggerate my wife’s behaviours.

Today’s story is on a different subject.

Paul and Samantha planned to go on an extended holiday. But worried about the general maintenance of their formidable property during their absence, they decided to employ the services of a house sitter. They didn’t advertise it in the papers but used their friend circle to find a trusted house sitter. And they found one, in the young and effervescent Jennie.

One day prior to their departure, Jennie came to stay with them. Samantha was happy that her precious plants would stay hale-n-hearty under Jennie’s care. Paul was happy that his piano would remain in spic-n-span condition, so too, his billiards table and the golf kit.

Jennie was over the moon. After all, she would be living her dream; dream of living in an exclusive and luxurious property and getting paid for it.

The next morning was the time for enthusiastic goodbyes from both parties.

Once the owners had left, the huge house was for Jennie to enjoy. She brewed up a cup of piping hot coffee and found her cosy corner in the Emperor sized chair kept in front of the theatre sized TV, which she put on and binged watched GoT.

After this marathon TV watching session, her tired eyes demanded shut eye. She headed to one of the bedrooms and made herself comfortable on a king sized double bed,.

Hardly had a few minutes passed, she was woken up by shuffling noises. She was wide awake now, her heart thudding inside her heaving chest. The noise stopped. As her breath normalised, she drifted back into sleep.

There it was again. She panicked. The noises seemed to come from the bathroom at one end of the bedroom.

She tiptoed towards the bathroom, half expecting someone to barge out. Seeing the latch on the bathroom door, she heaved a sigh of relief. She rushed the last few steps towards the door and with shivering hands, locked it securely.

With equal fervour, she retraced her steps towards the house phone and called 9-1-1.

“I am alone in the house, but I hear noises from the bathroom. Am a house sitter, the owners have left just today morning and I was alone when they left. Please help!”.

The 911 services coordinated her location in the background with basic information from Jennie and in a few minutes, the police were at the door.

A relieved Jennie guided them towards the bathroom.

“There! Can you hear that?”.

Yes, the police certainly heard something.

“Come out with your arms raised. Don’t try anything funny!”, the Sergeant barked out the orders. Their ominous message was met by frantic shuffling inside. But no one emerged. The latch was opened noiselessly as the police prepared to barge in.

Hearing no response from inside, the posse of policemen drew their weapons. One of them kicked open the door, which flew in and crashed on the wall. Two policemen, led by their service revolvers, entered inside.

They were greeted by…thin air! But there was a sudden movement in a corner, a shuffling noise, this time stronger but the suspense was lifted.

It was the auto vacuum cleaner!

The alleged ‘burglar’, the vacuum cleaner, was just doing its cleaning job at the pre-programmed hour. A burglar with OCD?

The police as well as an embarrassed Jennie, had a good laugh over this ‘much ado about nothing’ scenario. Jennie talked to the owners and put the machine to sleep.

Yatindra Tawde

Vada Pav – The Indian Burger

On By itsmylife126In humour, Uncategorized1 Comment

I read different versions of eating vada pav today and was reminded about one unforgettable episode when I ate vada pav. It was unforgettable because it had nothing to do with the satiation one feels after eating a vada pav but something which makes me remember it even though almost 5-6 years have passed.
Once myself and my better half had gone to Dadar to my parents residence. With nothing particular to do I suggested that we go to Dadar west, near Chabildas school and have vada pav at Shree Krishna vada pav centre. As you know, previously I used to stay in Dadar and lot of fond memories are associated with the place. And one of the strong memories are of my 11th and 12th std., when I had my tuition classes in Dadar west, where I used to go regularly. Well, I don’t exactly remember what I gained from those classes but I strongly remember going to the same Shree Krishna vada pav centre, which was the first stop before entering the classes. And I must tell you that the vada pav served there was mouth watering, to say the least. It was served hot and melted in the mouth. we used to eat it, the hot vada pav scalding the mouth.
It was these memories which prompted me to suggest to my wife to accompany me to have the vada pav once again to refresh the mouth watering taste. So we went walking and got down from the iconic Tilak bridge and reached the vada pav centre. This vada pav centre continues to be a centre of attraction for all the denizens who still flock to Dadar for work propose as well as shopping propose. Thus there was a big line and we joined the line patiently awaiting our turn. As we progressed closer to the counter, my mouth started watering in anticipation. My wife is not a foodie at all, and she was just humouring me by accompanying me to eat the vada pav. Finally we had paid, the rate now being almost 10 times what I used to pay during my teens but who cared… The hot piping vada pav was in my hands. Myself and wife moved to the side of the road so that we can have the vada pav at our leisure without getting disturbed by the milling crowds. So there I was, indulging in my foodie delight. Now most of you know that green chillies are also served along with vada pavs and I was enticed to eat one… And that decision resulted in lot of chaos… for me…i don’t know what happened or how it happened but the chillie burst in my hand and the next moment my eyes 👀 were burning…a piercing scream escaping my mouth, my wife totally confused on what had happened… Later on she told me that all people on that street were looking quizically at me. There I was forgetting all about the vada pav in the paper plate with the only concern being to bring fast relief to my eyes. I tried hard to open my eyes but in vain since the pain was just too over powering. At that very moment my wife bought a packaged water bottle and then the attempts to douse the fire burning in my eyes , started. Finally after almost emptying the bottle on my eyes, was I again able to see the world, albeit through watering slit eyes. In all this confusion myself and my wife had all but forgotten about mouth watering vada pavs and instead of indulging my taste buds, I was more concerned about saving my vision. Thus one of my five senses took precedence over another and I had to forego the pleasure of eating a mouth watering vada pav.
Yatin

The Library

On By itsmylife126In horror, humour, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Recently a library in New Zealand had to un-install a buzzer from outside their premises. Apparently this high frequency buzzer had been installed by them to get rid of bullies who did not allow the students of the studious variety to study in peace peacefully. In short they were a nuisance to society. But the authorities decided that the buzzer itself was a nuisance since, in addition to the bullies, to get rid of whom it was meant for, it disturbed the students too. And it was said to violate the fundamental rights of the bullies too. And , what may we ask, are the fundamental rights of the bully? And mind you, it was not any library attached to a college or something, it was a public library.

In India, there is no such need for a buzzer to get rid of such bullies, especially in a public library. Since, first of all, the public library is usually situated in a real public place, which is quite noisy in itself, that there are not many patrons for it. Usually such libraries are bang in the middle of the vegetable markets thus the major study which happens is, “potato 100 Rs. A kg.”, etc. If a person goes to study physics, the only knowledge he will gain is, how the vegetable prices go on rising defying the laws of gravity. And if he goes to study the mechanics of flying rockets, he will be brought harshly down to earth, by slipping on a banana peel on the way. I know of a public library in Thane, which is located near a fish market. It is a good place to study about the edible aquatic life and also the local names of all such fish. But then you should be able to survive the olfactory onslaught on your senses. And you can also learn about haggling of the highest order. Another library that I know of is situated bang inside a cloth market. Here you get good knowledge of the traditional Indian sarees like Kanjivaram, Paithani, Banarasi, etc. and the latest trends in fashion industry. To keep things short, there is no need of such buzzers near our public libraries since the job is done very efficiently by the very fact that they are located in real public spaces. One must say too efficiently, since the patrons too keep far away from them.

Yatindra Tawde