humour, Uncategorized

Eggomania

Any and every reason is enough for couples to go their separate ways. Many times, it is either of those MIL’s who trigger the domestic warfare. Other times, it is their own egos; they will have their own disparate dreams.

Sometimes, the husband would be an abusive, possessive personality trying to subdue his wife while other times, the wife would be a conniving, gold digger.

But many times, a divorce is a mature decision reached by two adults, who no longer find that elusive spark in their relationship, or whose passion has fizzled out.

Then there are those who separate for the flimsiest of the reasons.

Some couples are just not destined to stay together just like the couple which was in the papers recently.

Here’s the story…

Mangala was a foodie in her childhood. But both her working parents were of simple means. While father worked as a cleaner on long distance trucks, mother was a maid in the high-rise nearby.

Father would be at home only once every fifteen days but he doted on his child. Mangala would be very excited when her father came home, as he was sure to bring those bright, white eggs which she loved to eat. Eating them, either in their boiled, salted form or as a scrambled omelette, she was hooked on them.

Thus the years went by and she reached the marriageable age. And soon she was married off to Mangaldas, a daily wage plumber from the nearby shanty.

Soon, the first flush of arranged romance wore off and the challenges of daily grind stared at them. It helped that Mangaldas was miserly and a teetotaller with a mature head on his shoulders.

But being stingy had its disadvantages, especially for Mangala.

All varieties of vegetables were welcomed in the house but whenever she bought eggs, Mangaldas flared up. “Why do you insist on eating so many eggs every alternate day. Do you know how I toil to make ends meet; to put food on the table? And you waste everything on these eggs! That too, daily! If you want to stay in my house, these eggs will not enter.”

Poor Mangala. What was she to do? Her father had made her fall in love with eggs and then made her marry an egg hater. How her fate had turned!

So she wallowed in self pity, but not for long. One day, the egg seller Mangal, from the street corner, came home with half a dozen eggs.

“Bhabhiji, you did not come for many days for the eggs. I was wondering what happened so I thought, why not the egg seller go to the customer?”, asked Mangal slyly, as his eyes wandered over her comely figure, a smile plastered on his face.

“Oh, so sweet of you to do that. But, alas! My husband won’t allow that.” So saying, Mangala pushed back his hands which held the eggs, to refuse them.

“Oh, don’t worry. You eat them now while he is not at home”, and as he said this, he pushed the eggs into her hand, while brushing his arm against her waist.

Mangala wasn’t sure what was more enticing; the eggs in her hands or his hairy arm against her waist and she yielded unknowingly. Thereafter, they both had their fill of their eggs, which they yearned for.

This became a regular feature when they exchanged eggs every afternoon in the absence of Mangaldas.

Mangaldas was suspicious of some kitchen shenanigans as it smelled of eggs every other day but there was no outgo from his purse, surprisingly.

But one day, when he came home Mangala was missing and when she did not turn up even after a few hours, he was worried. As he searched in the neighborhood he did not notice the curious absence of a certain egg seller at the street corner.

When a worried and hungry Mangaldas returned home, he espied a neatly folded paper on the cot.

“I love eggs. But you never let me have them. I have found someone who enjoys providing me with the eggs and is not stingy like you. So alvida. We have opened our own poultry farm in the countryside. Don’t search for me and don’t follow me…”

Mangaldas collapsed on the cot, stunned.

humour

The chicken and egg story

What came first?

Chicken or the egg?

I read that researchers have concluded on this age old question. Till now I had always thought that this is just an English idiom to describe what caused what…

I was most surprised that this can be a subject of research. I mean researchers are actually trying to find out what came first…the chicken or the egg. And the researchers have concluded that the chicken came first, since the protein which makes up the egg shell comes only from the chicken.

That had me stumped. After all, it could not have come from humans. And why can’t the egg have come first, since the chicken evolved much later, much later than the dinosaurs, who laid eggs!

Why would some researcher spend his precious time to get an answer for this question. What benefit can be derived for mankind by finding out whether it was the chicken or the egg. But then , in the western hemisphere, they do research on everything under the sun…and beyond.

For example, someone did a research on how long does it take for cow dung to dry out. Now how could that be of any benefit to anyone, including the cows? But then research goes on. It goes on because sometimes it leads to a breakthrough in totally unrelated areas.

For e.g. Few years back there was research on how geckos can walk on walls without falling. They found that there are Nano hairs on their feet which work like Velcro, and this finding helped the researchers develop a stickier, reusable self adhesive tape. So now we know for sure, what came first. The naturally sticky gecko feet came first, before the reusable adhesive tape.

Now many of you might join the research bandwagon to find out what keeps your wife in good humour… But don’t try it out, you may lose many precious hours to find an answer to an unanswerable question!!

Yatindra Tawde

Uncategorized

The Legend of the Egg

It’s said that Social Media is a world of’likes’ and’dislikes’. But in this world, these words are in their sillier avatar.

But that is expected to happen when people can socialize only by ‘liking’ or ‘disliking’. Nowadays ‘likes’ have taken the form of ‘love’ which is denoted by a red heart. Whereas ‘dislike’ has taken an ugly turn in the form of ‘troll’.

But today we will concentrate on’likes’ since recently it was in the news.

A puny brown egg; yes brown, for the racially sensitive, managed to dethrone the current queen of social media, on one of the social apps.

Now, anyone would wonder how can people like a photo of a humble egg, that too in such large numbers. After all, it is meant for creating a life or feeding someone. Why would anyone give it so much importance?

This Eggegend; that’s my word for the egg legend, it gave me sleepless nights. And a depleted breakfast, as I couldn’t bring myself to cannibalize a legend in the making, or rather a legend already made.

So my research started and where did I roam on the big, bad Earth for doing this research?

Nothing like what you would imagine.

I spread myself on my sofa after eating an eggless cake, which served two purposes. One, I was eating an vegetarian snack and second, I was respecting a legend.

While I lazed on the sofa, my mind was concentrated on the search engines which chugged across the pad screen.

And lo and behold!

There was this story of an Indian teenager who was the mastermind of this whole saga. And this was a proud moment for patriotic me.

This is his story –

He clicked an enticing photo of the brown egg, which did all the hard work of posturing before a DSLR camera. The teenager too, did not leave any egg…er… stone unturned, to capture the historic moment on camera. With just the right lighting and innumerable captures.

Finally he was ready to challenge the reigning queen.

The next step was to share his invaluable capture on the same photo sharing app, the fiefdom of the Queen.

And then the masterstroke!

Appeal to the empathetic feelings of the people; their propensity to support the underdog. So the photograph was captioned, ‘Let’s make the Egg the most liked on this app and challenge the reigning Queen!’. And the public did the rest.

And the rest is history.

Today this photograph is the most liked after dethroning the Queen and still counting the likes.

All hail the Eggegend!

Yatindra Tawde