humour

The Bus

As man evolved, he understood that, compared to other animals, he was a weakling. This was apparent on his various hunting expeditions to provide food for his dependents.

In addition to many other parameters, he lacked in speed. Most of the time, his prey galloped away or ran away, and he was left panting by the wayside.

Thus his need to domesticate various other animals like the horse to gain speed. This was his preferred means of transport, whenever he needed to travel faster, till the industrial revolution, when mechanised vehicles were introduced in the form of cars.

But these cars ran on petrol or diesel which were in short supply, hence expensive.

He felt the need to transport a larger number of people at a time and thus a bus was born. Though it ran on the same expensive fuel, the higher numbers it carried made it economical. But this dependence on buses and cars for faster travelling meant burning of the highly polluting fuels which became one of the major factors of global warming.

Thus started the search for cleaner and inexpensive energy sources.

Electrical energy is cleaner and today it is taking baby steps towards electric cars but there are other cheaper energy sources too, on which buses and cars can run. Like CNG, LPG, etc. but man is never satisfied.

Which brings us to the news which I read today.

It seems UK has taken a very important step where they have test driven a bus run by poo.

Poo, did I say!

Coming to think of it, it certainly would be inexpensive as it gets generated regularly, mostly every morning. Of course, there are those unique specimens who generate it untimely. And then there are few who fall ill and cannot hold it in and have to rush to generate.

There are enough species who do this extremely important social work day in and day out and contribute to reducing the global warming. My salutations to the scientists who conceived this unique energy source, based on methane conversion.

The day is not far, when this poo generation takes the form of an industry where various species are lined together every morning to generate energy for the ever growing vehicle numbers.

Already I see the importance of certain middle Eastern countries going down and corresponding elevation of another country which already has such an industry lining the huge network of railway tracks all across the length and breadth of its vast geography. It just needs to be tapped and exploited in a proper way.

Yatindra Tawde

humour, Uncategorized

The Smart Car

I remember an old movie named, “The Car”. It tells the story of a mysterious car which goes on a murderous rampage, terrorizing the residents of a small town. It was a Hollywood movie and I had loved that film.

But now it seems that the cars in America have turned over a new leaf.

Well, literally!!

Recently an old lady, driving a car in Florida got involved in an accident. Actually it was a hit-n-run case and this particular lady was the culprit. She was all set to drive away from the scene, but all her plans went awry… Thanks to her own car!! Well, this happens only in America and how! Now read on…

All thanks to the great American obsession to give even the minutest possible safety features to its citizens, a 911 assist facility is in-built in most new cars in America nowadays. And the lady in question was done in by this very facility.

It so happened that immediately, on impact, the 911 facility on the car – which was paired with the lady’s mobile- made a missed call to the police. When the police called back on the number, the lady did not answer. But hey, what’s the big problem? If the car owner does not answer the phone, then the car takes over. And so it did…

The car, via its Assist facility, connected with the phone, and taking the help of the GPS facility inside the car, gave the car number as well as the location coordinates to the police… in no time, the police were at the spot and arrested the lady. The lady was shocked by the sudden arrival of the police.

She had been unaware about all that had transpired between her own car and the police. I think, when she finally realises it, she will file a case on the car manufacturer for infidelity.

That’s the price a man has to pay if all his possessions are smart like a smart phone, a smart car, a smart watch, etc, etc… And he himself remains dumb!

Let’s see what happens when such cars are introduced in India…a certain movie director , who is obsessed with kissing cars, dancing cars, et al, will next introduce a infidelity car whereas another director will be too happy to blow up such a car, like he does in each movie of his.

Some movie stars, who are prone to car accidents, will never buy such a car whereas some people, who drink and drive, will pour their drink on the assist facility inside the car, so that it doesn’t tell tales on them.

But then this issue might never arise in India, since the calls placed by the car, will , in all probability, go unanswered…

Yatindra C1 Claws Club