humour

An app for diaper swap

Nachiket and Nikita are new parents. They had their son hardly one month back. Their house is a pleasant mess, which is normal in any house where a child has been born recently.

Nikita is on maternity leave whereas Nachiket too spends maximum time at home, whenever his job and his boss permits. Nikita’s mother too stays with them, looking after the little bundle of joy. Though all of them enjoy being with the new addition to the family, they seem to have no clues when faced with the crying episodes of the child.

A totally peaceful afternoon suddenly turns into a chaotic situation once the child starts throwing tantrums. Thinking the child is hungry, Nikita tries to feed it, but the decibel level increases. Taking pity on her, her mother takes the child in her custody and started singing a lullaby. As the grandmother touches the high notes in her song, so does the child. Exasperated the mother and grandmother look at each other clueless. Suddenly the grandmother espies that the diaper is cold. She places the child on the sofa and takes off the child’s diaper.

Lo and behold!

As soon as this is done, the child is quiet. So this was the problem. The solution was so simple but since the problem was not easily identifiable, the family had to put up with the cacophony.

It is night time, everyone is fast asleep. Suddenly a shriek goes up in the air and all are wide awake. But now Nikita is experienced. She goes and picks up the child and tries to change its diaper… But no, this time the diaper is dry. So she packs up the child again and tries to breastfeed the child. This is what the child wanted and in no time, it is peacefully contented and off to sleep it goes. The night is quiet again!

Nachiket, the software engineer is intrigued. And he decides to do something about this. After all, as a software engineer, he knows that every problem has a solution. So the next time the child cries, Nachiket goes very near the child and puts his ears to the baby’s mouth. He tries to decipher whether there is any difference between each cry, whether it is for food, or for a sound sleep. But he deciphers none. All cries are the same….wahhhhh….

The next day in office, he mentions his dilemma during the lunch hour, to his office mate, Riddhima. And lo! Riddhima has a ready made solution. After all she is his senior and she to has faced this in her life before. And Nachiket does as instructed by Riddhima…

Next day he stays at home eagerly waiting for the child to cry. And then the moment arrives…a cry goes out, disturbing the noon peace. And before the mother and grandmother react, Nachiket is near the child…

He whips out his smartphone from his pocket, starts an app and keeps it on record mode, near the baby’s mouth. Mother and grandmother are watching this, worried about the mental imbalance shown by Nachiket.

But Nachiket himself is very enthusiastic about the task at hand, he keeps his smartphone near the baby’s mouth for about 10 seconds, then his fingers do the tango on the phone . He gives a triumphant cry and shows the screen to the 2 ladies…

Screen shows “HUNGRY” in bold letters. The ladies are apprehensive, but then the mother starts feeding the child… And the house is peaceful again.

The app is passed on to the mother who is the happiest. She feels as if, suddenly there is a translator for translating all her baby’s cries into human speech. Next time the baby throws a tantrum, the app shows that the baby needs a diaper swap. These are the happiest days for the mother and the entire family. The grandmother is the most impressed since she had always felt that technology has gone too far …but now she too is impressed.

Friends, you may feel this is far fetched but this technology is upon us and the app is 90-95% accurate in giving its solutions. The new parents in the West are the most happy, since this app is not yet introduced in India. But by the time you read this, it might be available. But just to try out the new app, don’t try to be a new parent, especially my friends who are now in their late 40’s…

P.S. – this app is said to work only for babies upto 8-10 months old, since the innocent babies cry with honesty, only till that age… After that they get smarter for the smartphone app. And mothers, don’t try to use it for your grown up babies… Your respective husbands 😊

Yatindra Tawde

Uncategorized

The Legend of the Egg

It’s said that Social Media is a world of’likes’ and’dislikes’. But in this world, these words are in their sillier avatar.

But that is expected to happen when people can socialize only by ‘liking’ or ‘disliking’. Nowadays ‘likes’ have taken the form of ‘love’ which is denoted by a red heart. Whereas ‘dislike’ has taken an ugly turn in the form of ‘troll’.

But today we will concentrate on’likes’ since recently it was in the news.

A puny brown egg; yes brown, for the racially sensitive, managed to dethrone the current queen of social media, on one of the social apps.

Now, anyone would wonder how can people like a photo of a humble egg, that too in such large numbers. After all, it is meant for creating a life or feeding someone. Why would anyone give it so much importance?

This Eggegend; that’s my word for the egg legend, it gave me sleepless nights. And a depleted breakfast, as I couldn’t bring myself to cannibalize a legend in the making, or rather a legend already made.

So my research started and where did I roam on the big, bad Earth for doing this research?

Nothing like what you would imagine.

I spread myself on my sofa after eating an eggless cake, which served two purposes. One, I was eating an vegetarian snack and second, I was respecting a legend.

While I lazed on the sofa, my mind was concentrated on the search engines which chugged across the pad screen.

And lo and behold!

There was this story of an Indian teenager who was the mastermind of this whole saga. And this was a proud moment for patriotic me.

This is his story –

He clicked an enticing photo of the brown egg, which did all the hard work of posturing before a DSLR camera. The teenager too, did not leave any egg…er… stone unturned, to capture the historic moment on camera. With just the right lighting and innumerable captures.

Finally he was ready to challenge the reigning queen.

The next step was to share his invaluable capture on the same photo sharing app, the fiefdom of the Queen.

And then the masterstroke!

Appeal to the empathetic feelings of the people; their propensity to support the underdog. So the photograph was captioned, ‘Let’s make the Egg the most liked on this app and challenge the reigning Queen!’. And the public did the rest.

And the rest is history.

Today this photograph is the most liked after dethroning the Queen and still counting the likes.

All hail the Eggegend!

Yatindra Tawde