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Written when demonetisation struck

Got up in the morning with a prayer on my mind. Read through as many positive attitude messages as possible. Had a sacred bath similar to the one we have on first day of Diwali. Prayed to all the crore plus gods. Wife and mother put a holy tika on my forehead. Unsheathed the battle weapon, the ATM card. Put some vermillion and turmeric on it.

Now I am off to the battlefield…please wish me luck friends.

Decided to be a foot soldier. Placed the right leg out of the castle first. Like Sachin Tendulkar, when he used to come out to bat, I too looked at the Sun, crinkling my eyes.

Reached the battlefield, which is very near to my castle.

But alas, all the ATM’s were closed and I could make out that, no matter, how well I fought, I would not be able to subjugate them to release their riches. This was a minor setback to a warrior like me.

I made a strategic retreat to my territory. But it was only to strategise my future course of action. I decided to ride a chariot to mount my offensive since the battlefield had shifted to far off places. I wanted to conserve my energies, to fight the battle elsewhere. Hence the chariot was best to save valuable time and my energy, which would otherwise have been spent in reaching the battlefield on foot.

Like a mercenary, I was on the lookout for other warriors like me. Many of the ATM’s were closed hence my urge to fight got longer. My patience running out and my weapon, the ATM card, itching to come out of its sheath, I espied lot of other warriors hovering at one location. This was it!! The moment I had been waiting for, had arrived.

But here I had to change my tactics, first I had to get rid of my chariot. Leaving it at the nearest stable, I made my way on foot once again.

Here the rules of engagement were different. Here patience and slow movements were more important than any aggressive posturing. Before my eyes, stretching into the horizon, were many other warriors like me, who were showing the same patience, which I had stressed upon.

There was no shouting but only discussions and deliberations, on how the supreme leader had played his hand, in the game of chess. Inspite of so many warriors on the battlefield, all had only admiring words for the supreme leader. We were but, warriors in his war.

My progress was slow but steady.

As I reached near the mouth of the ATM, my adrenaline shot up, and so did my blood pressure.

Finally I reached the monster, that is the ATM machine, unsheathed my ATM card, and in the same clean and quick motion, stabbed the card into the belly of the red monster. With great whining noises, the monster started vibrating.

Half the battle won, I then tickled all the pressure points on its belly, and was successful in provoking it, to release its bodily papers, which are very important for us humans. As those papers, printed very beautifully with 100 denominations, fell into my palm, I let out my war cry,

“Yeh bhi Hakka…woh bhi Hakka…duniya Pagal…hai albatta…
Yeh bhi Hakka…woh bhi Hakka…duniya Pagal…hai albatta…baag lagaya Pakka…”

Then , ignoring the quizzical looks of my fellow warriors, I returned back to my castle to the blowing of trumpets and admiring looks of my better half.

Yatindra Tawde

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