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The Ex-Captain

Written at the time of Dhoni’s retirement from Test Cricket…

Recently our test captain retired from Test Cricket. Now he had additional time to himself. Of course, since the country plays very less test cricket, this additional time is not much.

He had decided that this additional time will be dedicated to practice for the one days, for the T-20 internationals, for the IPL , for Champions league. And hopefully in the same order…not in the reverse order.

But alas, man proposes…god disposes…or rather the better half disposes.

We hear the better half has started demanding more time from the ex-captain. After all, for all these days she had to do the domestic work…where she was the captain of their domestic team.

Now the star batsman with the helicopter shot and with safe wicket keeping gloves and great captaincy skills was a great potential addition to her domestic team.

So she laid out a list of training tasks for the great one himself. He was put in charge of training the domestic staff-

task 1) sweeping the floor – what better way than to employ the helicopter shot where the dirt can be deposited from the place where it is, directly to the dust bin . Advantage – saves time
Sometimes the sweep shot can be employed to remove dirt from below furniture. Advantage – with the strong arms of the captain the dirt can be easily displaced from its current position to somewhere near the dustbin.

Task 2) fetching the eggs or tomatoes , potatoes or onions – with the safe hands of a wicketkeeper, the respective shopkeeper can be asked to directly throw the required items from across the street to the balcony where they will be safely caught and then deposited to the containers. Advantage – saves the necessity of going all the way to the market.

Task 3) washing clothes with the clothes pin – whose technique will be better than the best bludgeoning batsman himself!! After all the the clothes pin certainly resembles the bat. Advantage – the clothes are now very cleanly washed…of course sometimes the cloth gets frayed …but it’s a part of the biz

Task 4) as you all know, the captain sometimes likes to chance his arm over and bowl…so what better way to use this skill than to put it to use in cleaning the overhead fans. Advantage – the fans now circulate cleaner air.

Task5) as you all know, the captain plans out all the field placements and directs the fielders to their places by pointing out the locations – this skill is used by asking him to direct the domestic helps to their proper positions –
Advantage – new josh in the domestic staff in doing their designated duties

So this is how the freed up time of the captain and his well known cricketing skills are put to good use by the better half.

And advantage to the captain in all this, did you ask? Well he certainly gets a good workout and practice to come out on the top of his game, whenever he will next play for the country and that too without leaving the comfy confines of his house.

And on top of that he keeps his better half in good humour, which is very important in this epoch.

Do you agree with me, friends…

Yatindra Tawde

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